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What ever happened to complete selflessness? When in our culture did that concept cease to exist? I have often marveled at how people can be so selfish and thoughtless when it comes to others' needs. Until now.
I have lived my life for as far back as I can remember, trying to please everyone I came in contact with. Never thinking of myself and pushing my needs aside without a second thought. Then one day about a year ago I finally asked for something from someone I dearly love, only to be quickly and coldly rejected. I had sacrificed so much and done everything within my ability for this person, including standing by them many times when I truly shouldn't have. This thing I had requested was something I have desired and needed for years, and they were intimately aware of this all along. It was no small thing...but then, it was.
Maybe all these years I have been too kind, possibly even too naive. But when this one essential thing got pushed aside as if it was totally insignificant, something inside me snapped. And that's when I decided to do something for ME for the very first time in my life. I enlisted.
Since I signed my contract in August '09 I have had so many people ask me if I "really want to do this" and even trying to convince me not to go. Telling me all the negative aspects of the military and even trying to make me feel guilty about my decision! So to all of you who have bombarded me with these questions and arguments, I only have this to say.
It's my turn; at happiness, at selfishness, at living my life for me. The very least you can do is be happy for me, and proud that I am achieving something great. Stop thinking of yourselves and just let me go.
If you continue trying to hold me back, you will undoubtedly just get left behind.
Picture courtesy of Google Images.
